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Swift, Jonathan, 1667-1745

"The Poems of Jonathan Swift, D.D., Volume 2"

SHERIDAN, IN NO VERY GOOD REPAIR. 1725

Let me thy properties explain:
A rotten cabin, dropping rain:
Chimneys, with scorn rejecting smoke;
Stools, tables, chairs, and bedsteads broke.
Here elements have lost their uses,
Air ripens not, nor earth produces:
In vain we make poor Sheelah[1] toil,
Fire will not roast, nor water boil.
Through all the valleys, hills, and plains,
The goddess Want, in triumph reigns;
And her chief officers of state,
Sloth, Dirt, and Theft, around her wait.


THE BLESSINGS OF A COUNTRY LIFE
1725
Far from our debtors; no Dublin letters;
Not seen by our betters.

THE PLAGUES OF A COUNTRY LIFE
A companion with news; a great want of shoes;
Eat lean meat or choose; a church without pews;
Our horses away; no straw, oats, or hay;
December in May; our boys run away; all servants at play.

A FAITHFUL INVENTORY
OF THE FURNITURE BELONGING TO ---- ROOM IN T. C. D.
IN IMITATION OF DR. SWIFT'S MANNER.
WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1725
----quaeque ipse miserrima vidi.[1]
This description of a scholar's room in Trinity College, Dublin, was
found among Mr. Smith's papers. It is not in the Dean's hand, but seems
to have been the production of Sheridan.

Imprimis, there's a table blotted,
A tatter'd hanging all bespotted.


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