There is no difference in fact. I wanted to be closer to something
elevated.
The lights were so quiet and peaceful looking in the dark church
through high-colored windows. There were not many people in their
church, so I could concentrate. But instead of a Christian quiet, I
got something else. I guess the idea came to me when I thought that
Pashinsky was a Pole.
I began to think that I could not do very much here,--but still
something. They will try to annoy the Princesses, and I must protect
them. Thus--my staying here will be justified. If Pashinsky or the
Letts should do something that would be bad, I'll kill them,--or some
of them. When I thought of it, I looked at the Holy Faces; the sun
came out of the white clouds, the rays fell on the walls,--and
the Faces smiled at me. "Yes," I thought, "if my decision is not
agreeable,--the sun will hide behind the clouds again. I'll wait for
five minutes"--the sun did not hide,--so--this was accepted. Then I
tried to figure how to do it, and found a way. I'll get Pashinsky at
the first attempt.
My God, what nonsense I think of!...
49
Schtolz. Jackson. Vieren. The man with the wounded leg. Kitser.
Dutzman. Khokhriakov. Fost. Pashinsky. Kart. Fedor. Laksman. Vassiliev
(son). Kobylinsky. Perkel. Niestadt. Cymes. Leibner. Vert. Wang-Lee.
Frenkel. The fat Kister. Vygardt....
(_a few lines scratched out_)
50
The "Kitai" was at the pier when we--the detachment of twelve,
guarding a silent man and a hysterical woman--came there under the
cover of night; it was raining, though the air was warm.
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