At fifteen I was dragged away
to the Military Academy at Petrograd[A] and made to listen to old
Danilovich until I actually hated the very name of war. I resolved at
that time to inaugurate some means to get rid of such senseless waste
of life if intrusted with the power. The Hague was my interpretation
of what should constitute a proper exercise of international
obligation. You realize, of course, the precarious state of Russia
in a military sense,--while force was indispensable to hold us all
together from within, it always exposed our weakness when directed
toward external issues. I could not map out my own general education,
even; forced by the traditions of my family I was placed in charge
of the Holy Synod and taught by Pobedonostzev to regard myself as
the source of SPIRITUAL POWER and instructed to regard an unorthodox
opinion as a transportation offense. Now, while I reverence profoundly
the sacred tenets of my holy religion, I regard religious freedom as
indispensable to the dignity of spiritual belief. For that reason
I made that reformation in 1905. As I grew up I rebelled against my
intolerable confinement,--I went out among the PEOPLE and TALKED
WITH THEM. They were friendly in most instances and gave me very good
advice. I did not need a bodyguard to go about. I was as safe among
the people as I would be in the Winter Palace. Often have I walked to
the hotels alone to call on some particular friend without any thought
of fear.
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