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Beerbohm, Max, Sir, 1872-1956

"Yet Again"

Of course
they are not. If gondola were a disease, and if a scrofula were a
beautiful boat peculiar to a beautiful city, the effect of each word
would be exactly the reverse of what it is. This rule may be applied
to all the other words in the two lists. And these lists might, of
course, be extended to infinity. The appropriately beautiful or ugly
sound of any word is an illusion wrought on us by what the word
connotes. Beauty sounds as ugly as ugliness sounds beautiful. Neither
of them has by itself any quality in sound.
It follows, then, that the Christian names and surnames in my first
class sound beautiful or ugly according to what they connote. The
sound of those in the second class depends on the extent to which it
suggests any known word more than another. Of course, there might be a
name hideous in itself. There might, for example, be a Mr.
Griggsbiggmiggs. But there is not. And the fact that I, after
prolonged study of a Postal Directory, have been obliged to use my
imagination as factory for a name that connotes nothing and is ugly in
itself may be taken as proof that such names do not exist actually.
You cannot stump me by citing Mr. Matthew Arnold's citation of the
words `Ragg is in custody,' and his comment that `there was no Ragg by
the Ilyssus.


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