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Beerbohm, Max, Sir, 1872-1956

"Yet Again"

`A metaphor may be used
with advantage' by any young lady, but only `if it occur naturally.'
And `allusions are elegant,' but only `when introduced with ease, and
when they are well understood by those to whom they are addressed.'
`An antithesis renders a passage piquant'; but the dire results of a
too-frequent indulgence in it are relentlessly set forth. Pages and
pages are devoted to a minute survey of the pit-falls of punctuation.
But when the young lady of that period had skirted all these, and had
observed all the manifold rules of caligraphy that were here laid down
for her, she was not, even then, out of the wood. Very special stress
was laid on `the use of the seal.' Bitter scorn was poured on young
ladies who misused the seal. `It is a habit of some to thrust the wax
into the flame of the candle, and the moment a morsel of it is melted,
to daub it on the paper; and when an unsightly mass is gathered
together, to pass the seal over the tongue with ridiculous haste--
press it with all the strength which the sealing party possesses--and
the result is, an impression which raises a blush on her cheek.'
Well! The young ladies of that day were ever expected to exhibit
sensibility, and used to blush, just as they wept or fainted, for very
slight causes.


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