Since we parted, Jenny,
you have seemed ever present with me, as an angel of peace and
protection. In the moment when passion was about overmastering me,
you stood by my side, and I seemed to hear your voice speaking to
the rising storm, and hushing all into calmness. When my feet have
been ready to step aside, you instantly approached and pointed to
the better way. Last night I had a dream, and it is because of that
dream that I now write to you. I have often felt like writing
before; now I write because I cannot help it. I am moved to do so by
something that I cannot resist.
"Yesterday I had a difficulty with an officer who has shewn a
disposition to domineer over me ever since the cruise commenced. He
complained to the commander, who has, in more than one instance
shown me kindness. The commander said that I must make certain
concessions to the officer, which I felt as humiliating; that good
discipline required this, and that unless I did so, he would be
reluctantly compelled to order me to the gangway. Thus far I had
avoided punishment by a strict obedience to duty. No lash had ever
touched me. That degradation I felt would be my ruin; and in fear of
the result I bore much, rather than give any petty officer the power
to have me punished.
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