I have, by my sins, run a
great way into God's book, and that my now reforming will not pay
off that score; therefore I should think still, under all my present
amendments, But how shall I be freed from that damnation that I
have brought myself in danger of by my former transgressions?
{345} CHR. A very good application: but, pray, go on.
HOPE. Another thing that hath troubled me, even since my late
amendments, is, that if I look narrowly into the best of what I do
now, I still see sin, new sin, mixing itself with the best of that
I do; so that now I am forced to conclude, that notwithstanding
my former fond conceits of myself and duties, I have committed sin
enough in one duty to send me to hell, though my former life had
been faultless.
CHR. And what did you do then?
{346} HOPE. Do! I could not tell what to do, until I brake my
mind to Faithful, for he and I were well acquainted. And he told
me, that unless I could obtain the righteousness of a man that
never had sinned, neither mine own, nor all the righteousness of
the world could save me.
CHR. And did you think he spake true?
HOPE. Had he told me so when I was pleased and satisfied with mine
own amendment, I had called him fool for his pains; but now, since
I see mine own infirmity, and the sin that cleaves to my best
performance, I have been forced to be of his opinion.
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