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Hume, Fergus, 1859-1932

"Madame Midas"

A
washstand, with a basin full of soapy water, stood under a
curtainless window, and there was only one chair to be seen, which
Mr Wopples politely offered to his visitor. Mr Villiers, however,
told him he had brought two gentlemen to introduce to him, at which
Mr Wopples was delighted; and on the introduction taking place,
assured both Vandeloup and Barty that it was one of the proudest
moments of his life-a stock phrase he always used when introduced to
visitors. He was soon ready, and preceded the party out of the room,
when he stopped, struck with a sudden idea.
'I have left the gas burning in my dressing-room,' he said, in his
rolling voice, 'and, if you will permit me, gentlemen, I will go
back and turn it off.'
This was rather difficult to manage, inasmuch as the stairs were
narrow, and three people being between Mr Wopples and his dressing-
room, he could not squeeze past.
Finally the difficulty was settled by Villiers, who was last, and
who went back and turned out the gas.
When he came down he found Mr Wopples waiting for him.
'I thank you, sir,' he said, grandly, 'and will feel honoured if you
will give me the pleasure of your company at a modest supper
consisting principally of cold beef and pickles.'
Of course, they all expressed themselves delighted, and as the
entire Wopples family had already gone to their hotel, Mr Wopples
with his three guests went out of the theatre and wended their way
towards the same place, only dropping into two or three bars on the
way to have drinks at Barty's expense.


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