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Hume, Fergus, 1859-1932

"Madame Midas"

'One of these,' handing a ticket to Villiers,
'will admit you to the stalls tonight, where you will see myself and
the children in "The Cruet-Stand".'
'Rather a peculiar title, isn't it?' said Villiers, taking the
ticket.
'The play is still more peculiar, sir,' replied Mr Wopples,
restoring the bulky packet of tickets to his pocket, 'dealing as it
does with the adventures of a youth who hides his father's will in a
cruet stand, which is afterwards annexed by a comic bailiff.'
'But isn't it rather a curious thing to hide a will in a cruet
stand?' asked Villiers, smiling at the oddity of the idea.
'Therein, sir, lies the peculiarity of the play,' said Mr Wopples,
grandly. 'Of course the characters find out in Act I that the will
is in the cruet stand; in Act II, while pursuing it, they get mixed
up with the bailiff's mother-in-law; and in Act III,' finished Mr
Wopples, exultingly, 'they run it to earth in a pawnshop. Oh, I
assure you it is a most original play.'
'Very,' assented the other, dryly; 'the author must be a man of
genius--who wrote it?'
'Its a translation from the German, sir,' said Mr Wopples, taking a
drink of sherry and water, 'and was originally produced in London as
"The Pickle Bottle", the will being hidden with the family onions.
In Melbourne it was the success of the year under the same title.
I,' with an air of genius, 'called it "The Cruet Stand".


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