I then commended his conduct,
and said I knew he was quite right, and begged him to refuse
again if I should ever suggest it. I did not ever suggest it
again. For many years I bitterly reproached myself for having
corrupted him. However, I do not think any harm has been done
him. But my self-reproaches have caused me to feel I owe some
reparation to him. I also have more affection for him than for my
other brothers and sisters.
"At the age of 15 I went to one of the large public schools. I
was fairly forward for my age, and entered high. But I made small
progress. I had bad reports; I was 'slack in games,' and not
popular among the boys. In fact, I stood still, so that when I
left I was backward in comparison with other boys of even less
natural intelligence.
"The teaching was certainly bad. Moreover, I had not any friends,
and this made me very sensitive. It was to a great extent my
fault. When I first went there I was taken up by a set above
me--boys who were 'senior' to me in standing. When they left I
found myself alone.
"My unpopularity was increased by my being considered to put on
'side'; also because I paid attention to my dress.
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