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Dixon, Thomas, 1864-1946

"The Southerner A Romance of the Real Lincoln"

The inventions relating to the science of war he
would test himself on the big open field between the White House grounds
and the river.
The first inventor in line carried the model of a new rifle which would
shoot sixteen times. The army officers believed in the idea of a single
shell breech loader on account of the simplicity of its mechanism. Our
muskets were still muzzle loaders and the men were compelled to use
ramrods to load.
The President examined the new gun with keen interest, pulled his black,
shaggy beard thoughtfully, looked at the breathless inventor, and slowly
mused:
"Well, now as the fat girl said when she pulled on her stocking, it
strikes me there's something in it!"
The inventor laughed with nervous joy, and watched him write a card of
endorsement:
"Take that to the War Department, and tell them I like your idea--I want
them to look into it."
His face wreathed in smiles, the man pushed his way through the crowd,
and hurried to the War Department.
The next one was a little fellow who had a gun of marvellous model,
double-barrelled, with the barrels crossed. The President adjusted his
spectacles and took a second look before he made any comment. He lifted
his bristling eyebrows:
"What's it for?"
"For cross-eyed men, sir!" he whispered.
"You don't say?" he roared.


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